I have dieted all of my life. I really don't remember a time in my life when I wasn't dieting or watching what I ate. From 3rd grade on I have been on the pudgy side and was picked on and called names. As I got older, it just got worse. Food was a comfort to me. I was a little bit of a picky eater when I was a kid, then I got into high school and really tried to lose weight. I also got into weight lifting and began my lifetime career of starting and stopping bits of exercising. My sophomore year in high school I had the greatest weight loss in my life, at the time. I lost weight, felt good about myself, and actually worked out some, I hit the tennis ball around with a friend and I rode my bike. Then I went to college and discovered college life. I ate out a lot, partied, and got pregnant. My pregnancy brought on some depression and I used pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted to. I also quit exercising since I was depressed. I withdrew from college and had my awesome son, Brad then gradually started taking classes at ECTC and Fort Knox. Once I decided to go back to college, a new chapter was unfurling in my life. I was a single mom with a purpose, to get a college degree so that I could take care of my son, without help from anyone else.
I then went back to college, but to one closer to home. I left my 8 month old son with my parents and went to WKU, but I came home EVERY weekend so that I could see Brad. Back in college, I had a wonderful room mate that I became life long friends with. She was older and had changed her major a couple of times and transferred from U of L to WKU. We became instant friends. She introduced me to eating out. When I was growing up, eating out was either fast food or Shoney's if you wanted something fancy. She introduced me to O'Charley's and Rafferty's. She also worked at an upscale restaurant on Bardstown Road on the weekends, so we explored the awesome places up and down Bardstown Road and I discovered all kinds of new foods. One of our favorites, Chi Chi's, allowed me to discover Mexican food. I soon learned that I was a closeted foodie. I loved food!! All kinds of food. I also got a job on campus working with the catering on campus for the university president. It was a great experience and I was exposed to even more different kinds of foods, and how to make them. Then through my university connections, I got a summer job working at Stone Hearth restaurant in Elizabethtown. I was a prep cook, I worked their lent buffet where I learned to cook frog legs and Alfredo from scratch. I also made oysters Rockefeller and learned how to cook various seafood. My food pallet just kept growing. I did try to exercise more while I was in college. I taught myself how to swim, not very well, but I can dog paddle and float and I loved water aerobics classes on campus. Also, walking WKU's campus is good exercise in and of itself. Then, I graduate and it is time to find a teaching job.
I graduate in December of 1990 and that is not the best time to graduate with a teaching degree. I substituted for a couple of districts until summer. I worked all that time on resumes, interviews, and I still didn't find a teaching job when the school year started. So, I substituted for another whole school year. Needless to say, I started to get down and was concerned that I was not going to find a teaching job. Finally after subbing a year and a half, I got a job at a middle school in Jefferson County. I was hired about a month after school started because the numbers were up. It was not a great situation, especially for a new teacher. I struggled through KTIP and even had a second year of KTIP. By year 3 I was debating on if I had picked the right career for me. I was living in the country and driving to Louisville every day to teach. I found myself crying all the way home, the majority of the time. I was frustrated, I felt defeated and lost. I quit teaching and got a job working at K-mart putting up stock at night. I worked 3rd shift, 10:00 pm - 6:00 am. I did a lot of soul searching and started looking for teaching jobs that were closer to home, in the country. Needless to say, I was not exercising right now, I was very down, and I turned to food as my comfort. I finally got a teaching job at Nelson County and I loved it. I was successful, my administrators were happy with my performance, and things were looking up. I got my very first apartment, on my own and Brad and I moved to Bardstown. I was a single Mom working and he was in 4th grade. I found a place to use a treadmill. Brad would take his homework and read while I walked on the treadmill. I walked in the neighborhood and I was feeling good about myself. I still wasn't eating real great because being a single mom on a teacher's salary didn't allow for me to purchase healthy food. Plus, my son was a very picky eater, so I usually just ate what I fixed for him instead of fixing two mini meals for us. Then, with budget cuts, I lost my job in Neslon County because I was the new kid in town and didn't have tenure yet. Did I mention that while I was teaching, I was also taking graduate classes to complete my Masters and Rank I? Remember, I was a single Mom and had a son to provide for and I was going to get as much education as I could to help me with my teacher pay. My Mom would leave her job early one day a week so that she could drive to Bardstown to watch Brad while I drove to WKU to take grad classes at night. There wasn't online classes back then. I drove to every one of my classes. I drove to WKU, Owensboro, Elizabethtown, and Fort Knox, wherever I could find classes offered during the summer or evenings so that I could finish my Masters and my Rank I. Well, I did a lot of fast food, eating on the run and I didn't have time to exercise, so my weight continued to sky rocket.
Then, I got my job back home, in Meade County at James R. Allen Elementary. It was my first library job. I loved my new profession. I had finally found my niche and realized that the library world was for me. Shortly after I started working in Meade County, I got married for the first time. I was over 30 and worried I would never get married. I met a nice guy, but really wasn't "in love." I got married, but for all of the wrong reasons. I wasn't happy. His family loved food and they were good cooks so I buried my unhappiness in food. This was when I was at my heaviest, well over 300 pounds. Once we divorced, I decided that if I wanted to be happy with someone, I had to be happy with myself. I joined Curves, I did Jazzercise and Zumba and even tried yoga. I tried to start eating healthier and I lost some weight, but still had a ways to go. Then, I met and married my current husband. I had finally met the love of my life and I not only gained a husband, but a best friend. He loves food like I do, but he is more athletic and has always been active so it encouraged me to get more active and to watch what I eat. Then in 2009, I had lap band surgery. For health insurance purposes I had to jump through lots of hoops, so starting the fall of 2008 I started the process and finally had the procedure in January of 2009. It was not an easy process. Some people think if you have weight loss surgery it is cheating and makes it easier for you to lose weight. WRONG! It is still a daily struggle. After the lap band surgery, I lost between 80-90 pounds. I was exercising, I joined a local gym and did cardio, as well as weight resistance exercise. I even went and walked after school. One whole school year I even got up at 5:00 am, went to the gym to workout, came home and showered and then went to school. I was feeling great. Then, one 4th of July weekend the shopping area where my gym was located caught fire and it was closed for quite some time. It was located less than a mile from my house, so it was very convenient. After the fire, I got out of the habit of working out. I had good days and bad days with my lap band. Trying to find the right fill for it is difficult at times. I am not sure if it was menopause or just life, but I gradually gained 40 pounds back, yes while I still have the lap band. I think part of the problem was that I feel like the band is too tight, so I find ways to cheat it and eat "slider" foods so that I can eat more. When I tried to address this with my gastro doctor that put the lap band in, he just said I need to deal with it. That a few bites of food is enough for a meal. We tend to disagree on this issue, but that is another story. I just love food! I love trying new food. I love trying new restaurants. Plus, I am an emotional eater. Just because the band was keeping me from feeling hungry did not mean I wasn't craving food. I kind of just gave in and I would try to eat healthy food, but I wasn't counting calories or fat grams or carbs or any of that. I was just tired of always counting my food when I ate.
Then, I got on a clean eating kick. I decided that it made lots of sense that you got back whatever you put into your body. If you put junk in, your body will react accordingly. So, I try to eat clean, wholesome food. I do not do a lot of prepackaged, processed foods. I cook a lot! Even before the pandemic I was into cooking at home. Next, life threw me another curve ball. I was diagnosed with Graves disease. My thyroid was out of whack. It was causing my heart to speed up, and I did lose a little weight during this time, about 15 pounds or so. I wasn't trying real hard to lose weight and I was losing so I knew something was wrong. Once I got my thyroid situation figured out, I now have to be on medication the rest of my life. My thyroid was zapped with radioactive capsules and it is now shriveled and inactive on its own, so I take medication. This process set me back yet again. I gained about 20 pounds and became very inactive because I had no energy and at one point it took all of my energy and effort to just get up off of the couch. Again, I felt like a failure when it came to taking care of my body and my weight. Add menopause to the mix and losing weight is almost an act of congress for me right now. However, 28 days ago I decided to try one more method to help me gain control of my body and to feel better about my weight. I discovered intermittent fasting.
It all started with me reading, Fast .Feast .Repeat .by Gin Stephens. I learned what a clean fast was, how it worked and what it did for my body. For some reason this seemed doable to me. I read her book and was inspired to try this new lifestyle, which is what intermittent fasting is, it is a lifestyle, not a diet. I am on day 28 of the 28 day FAST start. This will not be a quick fix and I will not see big results right away. It is a gradual thing but it is healthy and after reading Gin's book it all makes sense to me. The first of August I started with 17 hours of fasting with a 7 hour window to eat, 17-7. I can choose when to open this feast window, whatever would work with my schedule or lifestyle. For week two, I did an 18-6 schedule. For week three I did a 19-5 schedule and this week I am finishing up a 20-4 schedule. This week has been the toughest. I am proud to say, as of this moment, with just four hours to go to open my eating window, I have not cheated, slipped up or messed up the fasting windows. I am so proud of this accomplishment. I sacrificed my daily morning coffee with Truvia and creamer. I gave up my flavored unsweetened green tea for just plain unsweet tea. I even gave up my fruit in my water during my fasting time. It wasn't always easy, but I have such a sense of accomplishment, one I haven't felt in a while. At the end of this 28 days I lost a total of 3 inches in my body measurements and 7.4 pounds. I feel so good. I didn't change what I ate, just when I eat it. I did try to walk a little more, but my main goal was to get used to the fasting/feasting windows. My next goal is to eat cleaner and healthier during my feasting widows. If I have this kind of success without changing what I eat, imagine what I can accomplish with healthier eating. I have also learned to not always go to the scales for a measure of success. In fact, on my last day today, I had gained two of those supposedly 7.4 pounds I lost. But, I lost 3 inches on my body. That is more of a true measure than just the scales.
My emphasis in September is going to be making healthier food choices and aiming for at least 10,000 steps a day. I plan on setting a new goal each month. I have joined a couple of IF groups on Facebook and they have been very encouraging. I am excited to see where this journey takes me as I begin a new chapter in my life, retirement from the field of education. I do not say I am totally retired, but I have retired from education. I do work three days a week at the local public library. I love the job and it allows me to keep in touch with new books coming out. I occasionally see students from school, some former students with their own children, and retired teachers that I enjoyed working with over the years. Life is good and much more than I deserve. I am blessed way beyond what I deserve. Thanks for taking time to read about the long road to me...so far.
